Dealing With Bad Behavior
Every parent’s fear is that their kid will go wrong or be the dreaded ‘problem’ child. Certainly there are cases when environment, hormones and external factors will combine to make a child act out in unacceptable ways but there are many things a parent can do with young children to ensure that these tantrums are minimal and not habit forming. Stopping bad habits when they first manifest is the key to nipping a problem in the bud and preventing your child from learning the wrong way to act.
Kids will cry, demand things, throw temper tantrums and deliberately disobey their parents. This is called growing up. They’ve been coddled, cuddled and fawned over for a long time and it’s only natural for them to expect it to continue, especially on their terms. But we all know that the day will come when he has to stand on his own and how he acts with other children, teachers and adults will clearly reflect on how well mommy and daddy taught him at home.
The first thing every parent must remember is that you are in control. You set the rules, you determine what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and you determine discipline and punishment. When your child is a baby and cries you rush to comfort him. After all, he’s a baby. But when he’s growing older and cries because he wants something he can’t have what do you do? Giving in to a child’s crying is one of the worst things a parent can do. This act will teach the child that all he has to do is cry enough and his mommy or daddy will break down and give him whatever he wants. Kids aren’t stupid. They know how to manipulate situations so they get their way. Kids will also learn early on if mommy or daddy is more likely to give in to their demands.
As parents you need to set down rules and stand by them. As soon as a child breaks the rule you need to be firm in explaining to him what he did wrong, why it’s wrong and that some form of punishment or discipline will result. The word punishment can often invoke negative feelings as it is wrongly assumed to mean spanking or physical contact. Discipline should never be a physical act. Shame and guilt are much more effective in teaching a child that something he did was wrong. Violence only leads to resentment and your goal is to correct bad behavior, not encourage it.
Also keep in mind that children learn from watching. If you act inappropriately, rude or disrespect others chances are they will too.