Daycare & Guilt
Just because you choose to put your baby or child in a daycare center does not make you a bad parent. Today it’s simply not realistic that mom or dad can either not work or work from home to be there for their baby 24/7. However, there is naturally going to be a feeling of guilt if you do decide to trust someone else with your baby. Whether it’s the feeling that you are in a way ‘abandoning’ your baby or feeling that maybe you should be doing more to be with him there will come times when guilt will invade your sense of parenting and what it means to be a good parent.
The 1950’s gave us some classic TV shows but the idea that Ozzie & Harriet and Leave It to Beaver are models for the future of raising children are just not realistic. Supporting a child today on your average salary just won’t cut it. The days of daddy working 9 to 5 at the office and being able to provide a home, nanny and all the trappings of suburban life for his smiling family is long gone, if it ever really existed. Let go of the pre-conceived notions of what a ‘family’ is and trust that the love and affection you are providing is the best that you can do.
Today, deciding to put a child in daycare isn’t so much a choice as it is a necessity. Most families need to have both parents working just to keep up with the mortgage, bills and taxes. While leaving your child with someone else can cause guilt and separation anxiety it is not a sign of being a bad parent as much as it is the act of being a responsible parent. First you’ll want to do some heavy research on the daycare centers in your area before choosing one. You’ll want to feel safe that the people you are trusting with your baby are qualified and that both you and your child feel comfortable with them. Most daycare centers will welcome your questions and inquiries into their practice as they know well the big decision you are making.
Once you’ve made the decision to put a child in daycare breathe a sigh of relief because you are actually doing your kid a big favor. While home is a safe and wonderful place for a child to learn so is interacting with kids his age. Being in daycare provides a fantastic environment for your child to meet other kids, learn important social skills and resolve problems on his own. His usual response to things that don’t go his way is to run to mommy and daddy for a quick fix. With you not around he’ll quickly learn that he is responsible for his own actions and that he can make good decisions on his own. Daycares are excellent places for kids to learn sharing, good behavior and manners, playing with others and even pre-kindergarten education skills. Nothing will make you feel better than the day you go to pick up your child from daycare and instead of finding a weeping kid you’re little boy or girl is happily playing with others and loving his freedom.